All I ever Do…
by illuminaitani
Summary: In the time since Onodera came face to face once again with his first love, Takano Masamune, he comes to realize just how he really feels. But there's something different between the two. Things are changing, and a storm is brewing. What will happen?
1. Chapter 1: Falling Apart

Welcome to my very first Fanifiction! "All I ever do"

Summary:  
>Its been 363 days since Onodera came face to face once again with his first love Takano Masamune. In the middle of hell week, Onodera begins to acknowledge Takano's feelings... What will he do?<p>

I actually wrote the entire story on paper. But I'm uploading a new chapter everyday and when I get to the last chapter, I'm not sure if will want to continue afterwards.

WARNING: This story is Yaoi (Guy x Guy)

Current Rating: T for Teen. (contains rough language, and partially mature scenes)  
>I am not sure if I really want to write lemon (aka sexy...thing), but if it comes down to it, I will change the Rating to M for Mature.<p>

i also have this ulpoaded to quotev. So you van read it on there as well at the following URL:

story/4435926/All-I-ever-do/

Disclaimer: I am not the creator of the Manga/Anime "Sekaiichi Hatsukoi." All Characters and Places are the work of Nakamura Shungiku and Studio Deen. The Only Work I own is the story below as seen written. (Fan Fiction)

And now for Chapter 1!

* * *

><p><em>Sometimes the universe decides to stab you in the back. To tear you apart piece by piece until there is nothing left.<em>

Once again, the cycle was at its peak. Hell weak wreaking anarchy and all it brings, and one hysteric Onodera Ritsu was on the brink of falling completely apart. You could tell with one glance,that he was practically dying. His hair was messy, his clothes were wrinkled, he had not slept or showered in two days, and had huge dark circles under his eyes. His author was causing trouble for the Emerald staff once again. Not only did Mutou Sensei reject the final draft edits, but she felt the need to start over from the storyboard. Now with 2 days until the Release of this month's issue of Emerald, Onodera was thinking to himself, "how can she possibly make it on time?"

"OI! ONODERA!" Bellowed out a very irritated Takano Masamune, who was totally pissed when Onodera informed hime about Mutou Sensei's decision.

"Ah. Hai?" Onodera answered.

"What the hell is she thinking? Starting from scratch when her manuscript is due in 2 days. She's not gonna meet the deadline again."

"Well what am I supposed to do?" Onodera said, "I tried to persuade her to make a compromise, but she refused to listen!"

"How many pages are left to complete?" By now, Takano had calmed down enough to ask this.

"about 25," Onodera answered. 'Almost the whole thing,' he thought.

"She is definitely not making the cut this time. Go call her, I'm going to go request for sub mat."

Normally, Onodera would protest, but in this case, Takano was right. Mutou Sensei was never going to make it on time, and Onodera was way too exhausted to fight. Onodera hesitated but in the end, he gave in and nodded.

"Hai. Understood." He said. A touch of sadness hinted in his tone, and with that, he walked back to his desk, slumped in his chair, and picked up the telephone receiver without another word.

Takano, on the other hand, was surprised at Onodera's obedience. Never once on the time that Takano knew Onodera as an editor, had he ever given in when a manuscript seemed as though it would not meet the deadline. Whenever things were tough, Onodera would just push himself further, and work twice as hard to make sure his authors got their manuscripts in on time, and he always succeeded.

'He has always tried so so hard, i wonder whats gotten into him.' Takano thought, 'maybe he's sick, or maybe he got a call from his parents.'

'or his fiancee,' a dark part of Takano's brain whispered.

Takano dismissed the thought immediately. Onodera would probably tell him, if that happened.

'But how do you know that? He still hasn't confessed to you. And he's never been too open on his problem. Especially with you.' The voice in Takano's head reminded him.

Takano gave a heavy sigh. His eyes felt extremely heavy, and it was starting to pour outside.

'Ah the rain,' Takano thought. He has always enjoyed rainy days. They were dark and mysterious, just like him. He has several good memories involving rainy days. All of them involving Onodera. In fact, the first time he and Onodera stood in the rain together, Takano/Saga finally realized he was in love with Onodera/Oda.

The second time they were in the rain together, 10 years later, Onodera had said something to Takano, that he wasn't able to hear over the downpour, but he was 100% sure it was a love confession, but either way, since that day, Onodera was slightly less hostile towards him, if anything, he was actually starting to accept Takano into his life, in a way.

So much had happened in the year since Onodera came to work at Marukawa.

Now you all know the story; bla bla bla 10 years ago bla bla bla library bla bla bla misunderstanding bla bla bla name change bla bla bla meet again bla bla bla shojo manga bla bla bla.  
><strong>(Author's note: neither I nor Takano really wanted explain the whole thing.)<strong>

So here we are now. Takano and Onodera. Editing Shojo Manga while maintaining a happy, healthy relationship...

Not.

More like the complete opposite.

"Aha. I see. Yes. Okay. Thank you." Onodera had spent a good long 20 minutes on the phone with Mutou Sensei, who finally agreed that she would not meet the deadline this month and agreed to save her material for the following month's issue instead.

The clock on the wall read 11:54; Onodera had worked about 2 hours overtime and was absolutely exhausted. Takano had left yet either, and they were the only two members of Emerald still there, and without realizing it, the two of them, without realizing the other's actions, began to prepare to head out.

"I'm leaving." They both announced at the same time. Onodera looked up at Takano, who looked right back at him.

Onodera backed down.

"Ummmm, uh... Actually, You know what, you can go ahead, I just remembered I have to finish one more thing." He muttered, looking down, his face flustered already.

Takano gave him an annoyed look. "Idiot, we already submitted the sub mat. Everything for this month's issue has been taken care of. Just come on."

Onodera looked down, angry, hesitated, then wordlessly walked to Takano's side. Takano gave a slight smile. Onodera still blushing.

Neither man had brought an umbrella. Fortunately, by now, the rain had come to a stop. The two men left the building and headed toward the station in silence, when suddenly, Onodera felt something take ho,d of his hand, of course, it was Takano's hand. Onodera looked up at him, blushing even redder.

"W-Why?" Onodera asked, looking down.

'So you're not fighting back today huh,' Takano thought.

"Do I always need to have a reason? Can't a guy hold the hand of the person he loves without question?" He said.

"No... Uh... I-It's just... Uhhhh.." Onodera was about to say more, when Takano suddenly stopped, dropping Onodera's hand. he looked up at Takano, who was staring straight ahead, with his heavy eyes wide open. Onodera looked ahead to see what was going on, and gasped at the sight of Two guys kissing.

**Author's Note:  
>hey guys! Thx for reading my very first quotev fanfiction. I will add The next chapter either today or tomorrow. Follow me for updates on the next chapter!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2: Surprise Surprise

_I never in my life ever wanted to hurt you. Its odd how things work out, since it seem as though that's __all I ever d__o to you. And it hurts me twice as much._

Last Time: *Onodera stopped, gasping at the sight of two guys kissing.*

h"K-Kisa-san?" Onodera stood there with open eyes. Shocked.

The two men in front of Onodera and Takano were none other than Kisa, a fellow Emerald editor, and some light haired man that Onodera recognized from the nearby bookstore. He sells Shoujo Manga.

'_Then again, you would probably think Kisa to be that _kind of guy anyway' he thought.

Kisa, still holding onto the light haired guy, broke from their kiss when he heard his name, and turned his head to see Takano and Onodera, then stepped away from the guy.

"T-Takano! R-Ricchan! hehe. uhhhh... I-I can explain." Kisa trembled.

Takano just shrugged, too tired to really care anymore. "Whatever Kisa. As long as you get your work done, I could care less about who you date."

Onodera just stood there, laughing awkwardly, shocked, and Hysteric.(mostly due to the whole 'verge of dying' thing).

"Ah-uh-Hai." Kisa responded. "well if you'll excuse me, I'll...just...go. Uh... come one Yukina."

Yukina gave a bright smile, his sweet aura sparkling, nodded, picked Kisa up bridal style, and ran off with Kisa in his arms."

"Well... that was...um... intersting?" Onodera said.

"Indeed," Takano replied in monotone.

...

The Train ride home was silent. Mostly because neither man really didn't know what to say after what just happened, and were both caught up in their own fatigue to really carry on a proper conversation. In fact, it was so silent, that Onodera didn't notice Takano had fallen asleep until he felt his head on his shoulder.

Onodera was too sleepy himself to really care, so he just let Takano sleep.

He snuck a look at Takano, who slept like a little kid.

'_Takano is so much easier to handle when he's asleep_.' he thought.

'_His eyelashes are so long, and he looks so peaceful when asleep. It's almost kind of... cute_.' Onodera smiled to himself.

_'Wait, what? Did I seriously just think that my boss was cute? What the hell? I need to snap out of it.' _trying to dismiss the thought, but couldn't help finding Takano seem so...adorable...in his sleep.

"_What kind of employee thinks these kind of things toward his _**BOSS**?' he thought.

'_the kind that is in love_.' a voice at the back of his mind answered.

_Love_...?

Was he in love with Takano?

**Author's Note:**

**Hey Guys! Did you enjoy this chapter? I, my self, thought it was pretty lame, but that what rising actions are for. Anyway, I will upload a new chapter tomorrow!**


	3. Chapter 3: An Unexpected Meeting

** Author's Note: **

**GUYS! I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! I can explain:  
>I was grounded.<br>There- explained.  
>Anyway, I finally found the time to update and write this chapter today, when my mom said I was ungrounded. Yay!<strong>

**Also, Thank you so much Miki Mae and Jenn Hachi for caring about my story. I'm glad you like it, and I'm so sorry I couldn't update until now! So I dedicate this chapter to you!**

**So here we go, Chapter 3! yay!**

_They say that actions speak louder than words and words hurt more than actions but in truth those cause__ an equal amount of pain_

Normally, Onodera's weekends and days off are filled with work, but since they just finished the cycle, so when the he woke up, the Emerald editor found himself with more free time than he has had in a long time. He decided that the best thing to do first was eat something.

Onodera forced himself out of bed and trudged to the kitchen, wading through a pool of laundry, books, and other garbage on the way. He opened his refrigerator to find a bunch of energy drinks and convenience store meals.

'_When was the last time I had a proper meal?_' he thought to himself. He sniffed the air, and gagged.

'_and when was the last time I cleaned this place_?' Onodera didn't want to live like this anymore.

"Maybe I'll go and eat out." He said out loud.

Not rushed, Onodera managed to find a clean pair of clothes in the mess and walked to his genkan* to put on some shoes. Then left the apartment.

The weather in Tokyo was great. Autumn weather was always the nicest to Onodera. No Long coats or shivering. No summer clothes and sweating. No pollen allergies. It's perfect. And it was peaceful outside. You could here the birds chirp, the wind blow, and the mild chatter of the people waking along the streets. A nice day, perfect for spending time alone.

Onodera strolled down the streets for a while until he found a book cafe*. He smiled at the sight of it and walked in. He removed his shoes at the entrance and paid for an hour of reading. Onodera loved book cafes. They had so many books (not as many as book stores and libraries though) that you could read pretty much for free! He was about to select a book from one the many shelves when he heard a vaguely familiar voice say,

"Onodera?"

Onodera turned around to face none other than Takano.

"T-Takano-san? What are you doing here?" Onodera said, very surprised, and already flustered.

"What? I'm not allowed to go out, and run into you?" Takano said, rather annoyed, but happy on the inside to have once again randomly run into Onodera. They have run into each other like this several times before. '_seems like fate_' Takano thought.

Onodera looked down at Takano's shoes, embarrassed. "I- It's not that… it's just….. uh- Takano-san,… I- uh…. don't suppose….. you come here often…. do you?

The Raven shrugged, "really for me, it's just an occasional thing. I prefer libraries, but this place is cheap and you get a meal plus unlimited reading, so if I have the time, I figure, 'Why not?'"

Onodera was still looking down, holding his bag that was on his shoulder, hugged it tighter with both hands, "Well….. then- I - uh… don't suppose you…. uh… would- uh…. like to….. sit together?" he stuttered out, he was more red than you could imagine.

Takano's eyes widened, but then he smiled, and walked to Ritsu's side, and ruffled his hair, "Did you really think I would say 'No' to that?"

"N-No" Onodera sighed.

'I probably shouldn't have suggested that.' Onodera thought, sitting across from Takano, both book in hand in a super awkward atmosphere. It should probably have just been something comfortable, since they would just be reading, but Onodera still felt a stiffness between them. He looked up from his book, and looked at Takano, who was in his own world, absorbed into the book he was reading.

'_this scene feels vaguely familiar_' Onodera thought to himself.

'_Well no duh_!' the voice in Onodera's head yelled at him. 'You've only seen him like this 50 thousand times back then.'

Onodera thought back to his middle school years, staring at a certain dark-haired senpai who was reading in his little spot in a corner of the library, and a little Ritsu stood hiding behind a bookshelf, just to gaze at the teenager who seemed as though he couldn't care less about what the hell was going on in this world, as long as he could live in his world of books. The Editor remembered frantically searching through all the checkout cards, to find the books his senpai read, so he could find those books and write his name right beneath the his.

'_What a stalker I was_.' Onodera laughed to himself silently.

'_but he fell in love with that stalker, didn't he_?' the voice in Onodera's head replied.

'_yeah, he did…._.' Onodera thought back…..

'_NO- SNAP OUT OF IT! I promised myself way too long ago that I would not EVER fall for Takano-san_.' he shook his head.

'_a bit too late for that, because you know, deep in your heart, you already have.'_

Onodera couldn't stand it anymore. He stood up, put his shoes back on and ran out of the cafe.

"Oi, Onodera!" Takano stood up, yelled after him, but Onodera was already gone. Takano sat back down,

"damnit."

Onodera made it back to his apartment, and fell to the floor of his entranceway, panting, with his hands to his head. He was so confused.

"I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what to feel anymore. What do I feel for Takano-san?"

Once again, it popped back into his head.

_Love._

"I-I…. Love Takano-san."

**Author's Note:**

***Genkan: Japanese word for "Entrance-way" In most Japanese homes, there will be a low-level entranceway when the home is entered, and you leave your shoes there before entering the home.**

***Book Cafe/ Hon Kisa: In Japan, there are cafes that specialize in interests/hobbies, like Maid/Butler Cafes, Reptile Cafes, Cat Cafes, Doujinshi/Book Cafes. At Book Cafes, you pay at the door for a certain amount of time and you get unlimited reading time from a selection of offered books, and a meal/drink is included. (Japan is so cool!)**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I did my best to make it run smoothly, but I probably didn't do very well. Writing is hard. Anyway, I will try to update as soon as possible!**

**Please Review!**


	4. Chapter 4: Voices in My Head

**Hey Guys! **  
><strong>I'm so happy I was able to update a couple days ago! <strong>  
><strong>And I also want to thank you all for reading! <strong>  
><strong>And for your sweet Reviews Miki Mae! and<strong>  
><strong>DEATHDAY1313 I'm a fan of yuuuu! I love your stories! thank you for the positive review! ( ^w^)<strong>  
><strong>I dedicate this brand new Chapter to yuuuu! And I'm gonna make it really long!<strong>  
><strong>And Now Chapter 4!<strong>

_I can't sleep at night if I know that I am hurting you. I guess you could say that I've never known sleep._

Onodera woke up an hour later to find himself still in the doorway. As he stood up, His mind reflected on what happened a while back at the Hon Kissa (Book Cafe).

He had run into Takano-san... invited him to sit at a table with him... looked at him and...ran away? No... that's not it, He looked at Takano-san, and started thinking back to High School days... Then... that damn voice in his head got to him... Onodera got scared to face Takano-san, and ran off...

"I love him?" he thought?

Do I?

DO I?

'_yes_' his voice answered for him.

"Yes." Onodera said out loud.

'_Now what_?' he thought. He couldn't just walk up to Takano-san and confess. Though he did suppose it would be proper to talk to Takano-san soon.  
>But confessing now, how would he go about it? It really wasn't something you could just bring up at a random point. And They'd been through this before. That time in the rain, when Onodera's was drowned out. Though Takano-san couldn't hear him, he just opened his mouth and confessed his love, and, as you all know by now, led to...that. Onodera blushed just at the thought. 'Takano-san really has gotten to me. I can't really ignore it anymore.'<p>

Takano's Case

_They say there is a time and a place for everything, But when I'm with you, I can't hold back my thoughts or feelings. I'm only able to hang tightly to you, in hopes of keeping you by my side. Never Losing you. _

Meanwhile on the other side of the wall, Takano had made it home, and was sitting on his couch reading a book that he just pulled out randomly from one of his bookshelves. Some super famous American romance novel that caught his attention at a book shop.

The story was about a 24 year old female novelist, who isn't very well known, falls in love at first sight with a guy at one of her book signings, and he asks her out for coffee, she accepts. They talk about literature. The guy is apparently a 21 year old college student majoring in Literature, minoring in Creative/Fiction Writing, and he asks if she can help him write his debut novel, and more stuff happens.

Takano liked the story a lot. He'd never really read romance stories that weren't full of nothing but that stupid fluffy romantic shit. But this story actually had a realistic plot and wasn't all fluff and no story, and he couldn't help but think of Ritsu when he thought about the Novelist. Both were naive, defensive, but also sweet and smart and determined. Takano also found similarities between himself and the student. Both were persistent on being with the one they love. Takano smiled to himself.

Ristu.

The name played through his mind and sucked him in completely. He felt unable to think of almost anything else. The only thing that mattered was Ristu.

'_But he hurt you_' The dark part of Takano's brain reminded him

"Who fucking cares? It's been 11 years! The past is in the past. How many times have I said that?" Takano said out loud.

'_Would you take a look at the guy? How many times has he rejected you without even calculating in your own feelings. Tell me one time, he has EVER considered how YOU felt in the past YEAR. He doesn't care. You can see that. Why do you keep pursuing him when you KNOW what I say is true! Why do you love him when HE is responsible for almost all the pain you've been through_?"

The voice was now screaming at Takano.

Who knew that a voice could feel anger?

**Author's Note:**

**I swear, I DID NOT intend to make it this way, but I needed drama. I swear, It HURT to type Takano's case out. I had written thi story on paper, but it didn't feel right, so I just created something new starting from Chapter 3. The Words practically wrote themselves. Controlling my mind.**

**And sorry for dat Cliff Hanger.**

**And About that book that I described in Takano's case... it doesn't exist. I just made it up. If you think it is familiar, than yay for coincidences, but If I can confirm that it is just something I wrote out of MY imagination, I will consider making it MY debut novel, since I intend on being a novelist/journalist in the future.**

**Also 1 more thing. I'm trying to think of a better Username for my FF.n account. You think you guys can help me out? **

** Until Next Time!**


	5. Chapter 5: Losing It

**Short Chapter. Sorry Bout that!**

_Takano's Case:_

Takano couldn't take it anymore. He was too annoyed with himself to even think. He just ran. He ran to the convenience store that was about a mile from his apartment complex. He bought as much alcohol as his pocket would pay for. About a dozen cans, and ran back to his place.

When he got back up to his apartment, he just sat on the floor next to his living room table.

He gulped down a beer.

Then another.

And another.

A half hour and 10 cans later, Takano started to feel the affects of the alcohol take over, He continued drinking to the point where he was completely wasted. He wasn't sure what exactly getting drunk would achieve, but he just wanted to forget everything, to stop thinking awful thoughts about his beloved. He wouldn't let his mind take over his heart. He refused to listen to anyone, even his conscious.

It knew nothing. Absolutely nothing. That pain he went through because of Ristu, didn't that just prove how much he cared about him? If Ritsu meant nothing, why would he feel this way? Takano was struggling to remain sane. He started laugh madly to himself.

"You know Nothing. " he laughed. awkwardly, but his laugh shifted, it got darker, and dragged out, to the point where he wasn't laughing anymore, but was crying. Tears fell down his face. He wasn't sure what to do. He was so scared. Scared of getting hurt. Scared of Hurting Ritsu. Scared of himself. Scared to find himself contemplating whether he trully loved or not.

Terrified of Losing Ritsu.

_Terrified of losing himself._

**Author's Note: I feel like I'm on a roll this week. The words practically write themselves. Lately, I've become even more obsessed with writing than usual. Almost to the point where I won't read until I finish writing and editing a story. I feel like writing is slowly eating away at my brain. **

**Oh yeah, and we got our "ReadiStep" exam scores back today, and people were like, staring at me in awe when I told them I got a 6.1 out of 7.0. in Critical Reading. I guess that supposed to mean I'm "above average" but it was seriously just a test. A stupid test too. It counted for a Homework Grade, so it really didn't affect my English Average. And hey, The guy behind me got a 6.9 out of 7.0 in the Math section, then said he was failing math. So it really makes no difference what-so-ever... Sorry about the rant.**

**And yes... I did change my username. Thank you Deathday1313 for encouraging me to keep my old username, but it felt too limited to a single anime. I decided to change it to "AllonsyMew" because it represents 2 of my favorite things:**

**Doctor Who and Cats...**

**Any Whovians out there reading this? **

**hehe! anyway, It's Spring Break! YAY! I'm probably gonna update EVERYDAY! so don't get tired of me JUST YET!**

**Until Next Time!**


	6. Break: The Story So Far

**Hey Guys! **

**So I read through my entire Fic so far, and I realized things were a bit confusing. It seemed as though, one things just happens then something totally different happens next. **

**SO I decided I would clear things up a little for both you guys, and myself. **

**Event 1: Mutou's storyboard/Hell Week.: This is sort of a build-up for the drama. A way to get the ball rolling in the story. It was how I strted writing this story, until I steered it into a totally different direction than I intended it to go. The Original Paper Rough Draft was 4 Chapters. But My Brain decided to vhange things at Chapter 3. So Hell week was just used to sort of create a dramtic and hysteric plot-line. **

**Event 2: Kisa X Yukina kiss on the streets: Once again, used to build up tension between Takano and Onodera. Onodera is more compliant than usual due to fatugue, and allows Takano to hold his hand. Breaking apart to the sight of a coworking turning out to be gay, was just a way to create the awkward atmosphere between Onodera and Takano. Afterwards, Onodera begins to argue with himself about whether or not he loved Takano. **

**Event 3: Hon Kissa Run-in: Woop-de-doo. More tension. This adds a romantic feel to the two, showing how Onodera is acting differently and and introduction to ever-so-mysterious voices of Nostalgia. Which I had intended to play a large role in this story from the very begininning. **

**Event 4: The Voices: Ahh The voices. I got a PM from a reader today who was REALLY confused about the voices. Yes they can seem very confusing, but once again, they are used to build up the tension. I can't reveal much to yet about them, but basically they are the dark parts of Nostalgia. They enjoy acknowleding the Negatives of The TakaRitsu couple, almost like Yokozawa, and they in a way, try convincing Nostalgia to fall apart. **

**Event 5: Takano Getting Wasted: POtentially recent chapter. Very Short, I wrote it up within about 10 minutes. BAsically, Takano is driven to the point where he cannot stand remaining alone in silence, and he tries to drown his confusion in liquor. Can't say anything else really. I don't want to spoil it for you guys. **

**ANyway, I really hope this cleared things up alittle bit fo you if you were confused. I feel like the story is one big sitcom, which is odd to me. But I really jope the story becomes more clear and focuses on one event for a while. I have some big things in mind for this story, so I really hope you continue reading! and if you have any questions regarding the story, or any points that still confuse you, just let me know in a review! I love interacting with my readers!**

** Until Next Time!**


	7. Chapter 6: Losing Him

Onodera stood outside of apartment 1201. It was sometime around 8. He was trembling.

_'This is what I want right? So why am I so nervous._' he thought to himself.

He hesitated, the forced his shaking hand to push the doorbell button. About a minute later, Onodera heard a low, but scratchy voice sounded out through a small speaker.

"Who's there?" its voice was familiar, but more dragged out than usual.

"Um... It's...me... Onodera." Onodera responded to the speaker.

There was silence for what seemed like forerver, then Onodera heard the door in front of him unlock, and Takano appeared.

The first thing Onodera noticed about Takano was how he looked. He looked different. He was wearing the same simple clothes that he was wearing at their run-in early that day, but they looked sloppier, and they were drenched in what Onodera assumed was sweat. He looked up at Takano's face. He had bags under his eyes that weren't there before, and his eyes were red, almost as if... 'Was Takano crying?' Onodera thought.

"What do you want?" Takano's voice scratched out. He was probably drunk.

"umm.. I .. Uh.. just wanted to talk." Onodera answered, he wasn't sure what to do anymore. This wasn't how he expected things to go.

"So talk." Takano crossed his arms.

"Well, Um... you see... I j-just..." Onodera stuttered.

"get in here." Takano walked back into his apartment. Onodera followed, and closed the door behind him. Takano's living room was a mess. There were books scattered everywhere, and empty cans of beer were on the table or the floor. 'So he is drunk." Onodera thought. 'Now what am I supposed to do? I can't just leave. I asked to talk, so what do I talk about now?'

"So what do you want?" Takano repeated as he sat on the floor."Come to kick me and run away again?" he laughed quietly, but the laugh sounded weird, it sounded sad. 'He was crying a while back apparently, but why? What happened to him?' Onodera thought.

"N-No. Of Course not? Why would you assume that?"

"I dunno." he spat out lazily, "'Cause it's you."

'Where is this going?' Onodera thought.

"Takano-san. I told you before, that I'm not doing that again."Onodera tried to assure him, but Takano was drunk. There was no such thing as reassuring someone when in this state. Thinking back to all the times when Onodera got drunk.

and then, Takano just broke down;

"How am I supposed to know that?!" he yelled, Takano's eyes were hiding behind his hair. He was looking down, but he looked really pained. "You told me that back then too, but then you went ahead and hit me then left me behind! You don't get it do you? You don't have a damn clue how I felt for 11 long years! That's why you just left, not considering how I felt. Now you're back in my reach…. and… You still refuse me. I keep telling you I love you, and I really do, but it's been getting me nowhere with you. I so badly want to be with you, but it really does feel like you are just stringing me along. I should probably know otherwise….. but… what do I know? I just…..."

Takano was panting hard, and he was crying. This wasn't like him at all, he was not himself and Onodera could see that. He just stood there, eyes wide, not sure what to say.

"get out." Takano ordered "I….. really… just want to be alone right now."

Onodera stood silent, and slowly nodded, he, himself was close to crying too.

"alright…. I- understand….. sorry." he said, and walked out. Takano sat on the floor a while longer….about an hour later, the affects of the alcohol wore off, and Takano realized what he had just done.

"How could I do that?"

He walked to his bathroom and looked in the mirror…..

"Who the fuck am I?" he asked himself.

"What has happened to me?"

'What will happen to him?"

_What will happen to us?_

**Author's Note: I seriously have no idea where I am going with this….. I never intended for this tory to be like this….. but I guess it is...**

**And Sorry I didn't update yesterday or Saturday…. I had a huge writer's block, and then I just was like….. Hmmmm I wanna torture y'all a bit…. well not really. I love you guys! And thank you Miki Mae and Deathday1313 and Guesty for the reviews. **

**Writing this story is REALLY HARD. I know Takano is really OOC in this chapter but need I remind you that he was drunk and is being taken down by the evil negative thoughts in his head that were slowly taking over him. It seems nearly impossible to make this story run smoothly. I swear that my next story will be a bunch of happy fluffy shtuff.**

**And I may not update next weekend cause I might be going to Anime Matsuri 2014! Mostly cause I wanna see Nightmare (Band that Sings the Death Note opening and ending for season 1) live! eeepp. I'm probably gonna cosplay as Sebastian from Black Butler…..**

**Anyway, I will see ya later!**

**~Until Next Time~**


	8. Chapter 7: Do it for Love

**Author's Note: WOW! I haven't updated this story for a while! (-_-) I'm so sorry! Even when I was on holiday I didn't write anything for this story. I deeply apologize. **

**And Now I must reply to my beautiful reviews! **

**loophutton: Thank you! I'm glad you like it so far! And IKR!? Poor Takano.  
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**Deathday1313: *Takano refuses hug* "Sorry miss, I only accept hugs from my Ritsu. But thank you for the concern."****Me- Thank you for feeling concerned for Takano! Ya wanna know what's goin through Ritsu's head? Read this chappie!**

**Guestie!: I wish I could relpy to you personally. I hope you find yourself reading this chapter! AND YAY WHOVIAN! I'm reeeaallly glad you love my story! I will continue on with it until the end!  
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**Miki Mae: I'm really glad you enjoyed the chapter. I agree that there is developement from this chapter. That chapter was actually sort of indirectly in my original draft but it was Onodera. But portraying Takano as a bit more vulnerable actually gives character to the story so I changed it. I'm glad you are satisfied. That's all I could ask for! And My cosplay went pretty well actually! I have pictures up on my instagram if you want it to see them. simplyonehellofabutler**

**Overall, I'm glad you were all concerned for Takano! This chapter is going to be for Onodera now. Time to find out how he feels!**

**And now for Chapter 7!**

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><p><em>Love is so complicated. After all this time, you had been pursuing me, but I never returned those feelings. Now when I'm finally ready to love again, you abandone me? Why is life this way? Why was I so afraid to love? Why did I wait until it was too late? Why does it seem like I lost myself somewhere along the way?<em>

Onodera slammed the door of his apartment from behind him and leaned against the wall, wuth his hand against the door. He was panting loudly from running so fast from Takano'splace. It took him about 2 seconds for him to get out of Takano's apartment into his.

'I can't believe he said those things to me.' Onodera thought. Takano, not even a minute ago, had just lashed out on Onodera then kicked him out. Leaving Onodera more confused than ever.

'What if he doesn't love me anymore?' Ondera asked himself.

'You know that's not true you idiot. He was drunk. He didn't know what he was saying' The voice in his head returned for an appearance and spat at Onodera.

'When has TAKANO-san ever been drunk. Remember all those times we drank together? Like when my book got a reprint, or on my brithday during Isaka-san's party? I was the idiot who would drink too much and do something stupid. Not him. He's always been the one to stay completely composed. Takano-San is stronger than that, He'se never cried in front of anyone, and he's never said such awful things to me. And he would never say anything he didn't mean, even if he was drunk.'

And once again he found himself defending Takano. Just another way to prove how much Takano was on his mind.

Onodera walked out of his doorway and into his dump of an apartment. He looked around the unorganized, disorderly room, and sighed. " This place is a total dump." He stood there for a long time. Finally, he crossed his arms, put a determined look on his face and said, "You know what, I am NOT living like this anymore. I am cleaning his place." (*Cue dramatic gasps from readers*)

11: 24 PM. Day 364.

'I can't believe I have that many clothes!" Onodera exclaimed. He had spent the past hour or so folding and putting away ALL of his laundry. 50 or so pieces of clothing that were once scattered across his apartment were now neatly folded and put in drawers. He also collected the trash around the room and threw it out. All that was left were books and papers, which was a lot of even for a normal salaryman* like himself. So he quickly gathered up all the papers and put them in a pile on the table in his living room and stuck all the books into shelves.

When he was finished, Onodera sat on his couch to rest for a while. He then noticed he hadn't put away his calander. He reched for it and picked it up, and read the date.

September 28th*.

That day that one year ago that he had started working at Marukawa Shoten, and also the day before learning who Takano really was. Learning that Takano was, in fact, the Saga Senpai that Ritsu had loved and confessed to all those years ago. Almost a full year since the day that Takano swore he would make Ritsu say he loves him again.

'Well, he certainly did a good job at that, but you still have to finish the job' the voice commented.

'Well I would of if he hadn't freaked out on me.' Onodera replied, arging with himself ONCE AGAIN!

'... You know you don't mean that. You can't blame him. You know how much he loves you . You know how much you love him. You just have to have the courage to let him know how you feel.'

Dammit... I'm losing to myself in this argument, Onodera gritted his teeth and remained silent. Once again the voice was correct. The voice never ever lost. Apparently, the voice knew everything.

But what the voice didn't know, was that someone would knock on the door right then and there.

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

Onodera froze in his skin. Who would come knocking on his door so late at night?

'Go answer it. You know who it is. Just face him! And don't just do it for me. Or for you. Or for him...

Do it for love.'

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><p><strong>*September 28th: I just sort of made up a day since in the mangaanime/light novel, there is no spcific date mentioned as to when Onodera joins Emerald. However, since season 2 takes place during the winter and the characters are already wearing long coats and see falling leaves in season 1, you know it's in the fall, and since things are sort of skippy, I just chose late September. **

***I also know that technically, Episode 2 of the anime is around 2 weeks after he joins the company, not one day, I compressed the time a bit to make it easier to explain. If some of you guys caught that then here is my explanation.**

**... yeah... I'm sort of obsessed with SIH. I know like... every little detail... OTAKU 4 LIFE!**

**Author's Note: I hope this chapter wasn't too lame! I did my best. I'm thinking about actually changing the genre to angst and the rating to M (I might want to write lemon). My friend forced me to do yaoi RP with them today and I had to be the seme character, and I've sort of gotten over my fear of writing lemon. If you would like a sex scene, please let me know in a review. **

**I lurv you guys!**

**~Until Next Time!~**


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